Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jazoo1

Search for a member

Jazoo1
  • Town/Country : (Hidden), United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 October 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 341
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Jazoo1 : Hi! You may see I have a lot of un-confirmed FMLs. This is because someone got on my account and spammed the writing box. Sorry for that.

Jazoo1's last visitors

i_wuz_nver_herekatertottcrazycatbitchstripes97LovePerfectionlaniparisx_the_lancer_xpunkyboyMysticAmmudickledorf

Jazoo1's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Jazoo1's badges

Jazoo1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (50359)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (8150)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58992) - you deserved it (8954)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML

#2169497
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34962) - you deserved it (7829)

On 05/22/2009 at 12:39am - health - by crash (woman) - United States

Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early Birthday present. With straight faces, they look at me and say: "we signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it take a year. FML

#2051394
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46124) - you deserved it (5050)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by imnotTHATlonely (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (65727)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (98755)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

#1040917
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (20007)

On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: