Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jazoo1

Online | Search for a member

Jazoo1

63Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 October 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1170
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Jazoo1 : Hi, I'm Jazoo1. I play viola and speak 4 different languages. German, English, Spanish, and American Sign Language. I speak German, English, and American Sign Language fluently. I learned ASL because I have a friend who is deaf and I wanted communicated with him easier. I've played Viola for about 3 years. I like the sound and prefer it to the pitch of a Violin.

I'm a nice person. Why? Because I know what it is like to be hurt. Feeling that makes me want to make sure that no one goes through the experience if I can help it.

Feel free to message me, I enjoy talking to people. If you want to have a conversation we can have one for a year. As long as you're respectful to not only me, but other people, I will respect you.

If you read this far then I applaud you. If you didn't read anything above, then oh well. At least you came to my profile.

Jazoo1's page activity

Visits<b>japcrap</b> - 32 minutes ago<b>flux_panic</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Aquamarine9</b> - 17 hours ago<b>anxiousaly</b> - 23 hours ago<b>tartar18</b> - yesterday at 12:02pm<b>annihil8or</b> - yesterday at 7:32am<b>Cezll</b> - yesterday at 7:30am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - yesterday at 7:23am<b>jillytc</b> - yesterday at 6:55am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - yesterday at 6:22am<b>nightwings</b> - yesterday at 4:38am<b>DO24SS</b> - yesterday at 1:54am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - yesterday at 1:09am<b>ohjoy15</b> - yesterday at 12:32am<b>patrickalamo</b> - yesterday at 12:10am<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - yesterday at 11:46pm<b>moonlight77</b> - yesterday at 11:39pm<b>nkb94</b> - yesterday at 11:16pm

Liked!<b>Aquamarine9</b> - 14 hours ago<b>japcrap</b> - 21 hours ago<b>jillytc</b> - yesterday at 11:35am<b>icedexplosion</b> - yesterday at 12:22am<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 9:36pm<b>awkwardeer</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:46am<b>sydneyy101</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:28am<b>anxiousaly</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:56am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:01am<b>ItsAnanya</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:32pm<b>carolyn_m</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 9:53am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:02am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:23am<b>dbuckle</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:49am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:41am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:38pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:31am

Jazoo1's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Jazoo1's badges

Jazoo1's favorite FMLs

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

#21344550
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (8940)

On 01/26/2015 at 2:17pm - misc - by boogery - United States

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (1746)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (5201)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that when a man in the row in front of you at a movie theater tells you to shut up, you shouldn't tell him to fuck off. He might be 6'4 with a short temper. FML

#21337906
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13745) - you deserved it (43767)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:15pm - misc - by whoops.. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

#21331074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:08am - health - by FeelingFatastic - United States

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (2088)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (4237)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32571) - you deserved it (3099)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (2633)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (11895)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: