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JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to dinner wit my broter. Tere was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away wo kept glancing at me. Wen my broter excused imself to te batroom, te man worked up te courage to come over an introduce imself to me. He asked me if my broter was single. FML

#3104897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60834) - you deserved it (4567)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States

Today, In science class I sit next to friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141170) - you deserved it (10057)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done wit is name on. He paid fir it. After it was done e told me it was over between us and e tougt it'd be a nice reminder of im fir me. FML

#2275729
738 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281887) - you deserved it (149037)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today... was mah wedding night. We had decidd to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressd and smild at mah new wife... she burst into tears and crid... "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
539 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218925) - you deserved it (23806)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seieng. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (96760)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's mah brthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The frst one was mah fiancé, saying he wantd his ring back. The second one was mah best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with mah fiancé fir the past three months. The thrd was the dentist's office singing me a happy brthday. FML

#1930337
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (374704) - you deserved it (19025)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I OVERHEARD MAH MOTHER AN SISTER TALKING SO I STOPPED TO EAVESDROP. I RECENTLY ENLISTED IN THE MARINES, AN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH THE MONEY IF I DIED. FML

#1656841
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166810) - you deserved it (12377)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277783) - you deserved it (17724)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Taday my grandpa told me he can still get arousd even though looool he is 84. Im 32 an have erectile dysfunction. mega FML

#1578524
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61018) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. mega FML

#1550190
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185245) - you deserved it (47335)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money . Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning . After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills . Really . FML

#1547778
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164341) - you deserved it (25193)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went up to a secludd mountain mah boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phond mah boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone startd playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212647) - you deserved it (11293)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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