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JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae

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  • Number of visits : 488
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50 favourites

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JazmynMarae's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18729) - you deserved it (4321)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (9923)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (8427)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

#352
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26198) - you deserved it (9014)

On 11/21/2008 at 12:40am - misc - by lpilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I farted A LOT during my exam, all silent so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I am now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

#105
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14890) - you deserved it (37936)

On 10/27/2008 at 8:13pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he was my landlord. FML

#24
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (20914)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:32am - misc - by Benji -



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