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JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae

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  • Number of visits : 476
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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JazmynMarae's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5745) - you deserved it (44352)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML

#981
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (1808)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML

#699
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7693) - you deserved it (21001)

On 01/04/2009 at 5:15am - misc - by LadyJane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (19315)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

#696
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13179) - you deserved it (8852)

On 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by gabess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (31158)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

#632
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4309) - you deserved it (44638)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:14am - misc - by Simon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

#606
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34583) - you deserved it (20876)

On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (15767)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (6008)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7054) - you deserved it (17263)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (56791)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version



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