JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JazmynMarae's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 6:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

by william / 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

by footinmouth / 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

by mat / 01/21/2009 at 1:02am / Miscellaneous

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

by Kika / 01/20/2009 at 2:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

by vixenscars / 01/19/2009 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

by dirk855 / 01/18/2009 at 5:29am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

by Noname / 01/18/2009 at 5:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

by Pakundo / 01/17/2009 at 6:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML

by abbacjt / 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

by jen / 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

by kallens / 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

by Hungry / 01/14/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous