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JazmynMarae

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JazmynMarae

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  • Number of visits : 473
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JazmynMarae's favorite FMLs

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141945) - you deserved it (16118)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177131) - you deserved it (14529)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328706) - you deserved it (28672)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153695) - you deserved it (13812)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1134260) - you deserved it (114788)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110326) - you deserved it (11635)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250991) - you deserved it (59687)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142285) - you deserved it (11789)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
735 comments

I agree, your life sucks (762343) - you deserved it (82467)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228432) - you deserved it (80507)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (7804)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (278507) - you deserved it (51734)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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