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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Jay_Neptune_211

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Jay_Neptune_211
  • Town/Country : Bell Gardens, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 February 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Jay_Neptune_211's favorite FMLs

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (7555) - you deserved it (24907)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (8591)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

#6864986 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (8867)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by notpregnant (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37203) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (10185)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

#6229163 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (1428)

On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

#6222212 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:05am - love - by alltern8ive (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (1875)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (5637) - you deserved it (29431)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58533) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (5572) - you deserved it (38312)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

#6131025 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (1815)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)