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JawBreaker93

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JawBreaker93

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 88
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About JawBreaker93 : I'm here to laugh.

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

JawBreaker93's favorite FMLs

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46747) - you deserved it (1913)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8391) - you deserved it (54637)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
581 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you deserved it (53987) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45788) - you deserved it (11764)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16545) - you deserved it (41304)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (2048)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9254) - you deserved it (61031)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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