Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Javier6597

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 1:55pm) | Search for a member

Javier6597

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4280
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 6:29pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am<b>ashleton13</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:34pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:07am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:18am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:12pm<b>crimsonlilies</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:13pm<b>StrangeKitty</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:00pm<b>BrownTaco</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:18am

Javier6597's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (8657)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19956) - you deserved it (42162)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (24295)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47999) - you deserved it (6171)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (6011)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (3761)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (6108)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (7076)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40926) - you deserved it (9225)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43678) - you deserved it (6284)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59492) - you deserved it (8445)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47489) - you deserved it (4551)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: