About Javee : I'm not very picky. I get easily distr- ooh shiny!
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Javee's favorite FMLs
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by JB / 09/09/2012 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML
by bcoper / 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm / Switzerland (Luzern) / Kids
by Wwiimaniac / 06/25/2012 at 10:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids
by me_the_maniak / 01/12/2012 at 5:14am / India (Maharashtra) / Work
by anon / 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm / Israel / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and… Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…