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Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 3:54pm)



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  • Number of visits : 3529
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jasmine_512's page activity

Visits<b>Dodger_fan16</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:12pm

Jasmine_512's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Jasmine_512's favorite FMLs

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

by BadLuckLad / 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Intimacy

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

by Justified12 / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

by neryc / 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

by Snow-White / 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Animals

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

by Tattery / 07/03/2014 at 7:55pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

by starflares / 07/03/2014 at 3:49pm / Denmark (Centre) / Work

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

by blood buddies / 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

by notacashier / 07/03/2014 at 8:29am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

by thatsnotmyname / 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Health

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous