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Jarl_the_Elite

Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 8:53am) | Search for a member

Jarl_the_Elite

1Fucked!

Jarl_the_EliteJarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12327
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

Jarl_the_Elite's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:30am<b>kageboy</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:29pm<b>eggnog5000</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:50pm<b>skyeeskellington</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 4:44pm<b>Katerchen</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:46am<b>mzhaze</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:44pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:03am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:46am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:20am<b>Dide9872</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:49pm<b>bethjlster1999</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:40am

Fucked!<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:32pm

Jarl_the_Elite's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Jarl_the_Elite's badges

Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

#21467271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (1435)

On 09/11/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by hale_551 (woman) -

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

#21467190
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (8368)

On 09/11/2015 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (4487)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (1680)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (1585)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (2290)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

#21445322
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11520) - you deserved it (49499)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

#21445231
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (1652)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:02pm - work - by geek (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML

#21443245
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (1991)

On 07/17/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by yep, she does have a tumblr (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

#21437701
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:59pm - kids - by BlazefireSaber (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

#21437526
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24049) - you deserved it (1675)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm - health - by feelthesting - Mexico (Aguascalientes)



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