Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jareth_King

Search for a member

Jareth_King

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 September 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jareth_King : Hi, I love the 1986 movie labyrinth I hope that's self explanatory but yeah that's about it

Jareth_King's page activity

Visits<b>BFons</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:51am<b>motaz</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:32am<b>Lunasis</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 3:07pm<b>db32</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Naitras</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 2:33am<b>shaww</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:51pm<b>pikasqueak</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:28pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 9:57pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 3:02pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 7:07pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 2:42am<b>flogrown</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 11:46pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 10:20pm<b>katnissmellark</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:31pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:04pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm

Jareth_King's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Jareth_King's badges

Jareth_King's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55685) - you deserved it (8963)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (10692)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44092) - you deserved it (19775)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66564) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38284) - you deserved it (5375)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (11526)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55774) - you deserved it (12462)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (3725)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (7177)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (63488)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: