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Jaredphamtom

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Jaredphamtom

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 953
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jaredphamtom's page activity

Visits<b>aspenmoon</b> - yesterday at 6:09pm<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:56am<b>Chilaxe</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:59pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:08pm<b>jessthebst</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:55pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:26pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:45am<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:41pm<b>mrmrashid</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:31pm<b>asia3pea90</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:46am<b>Chente_313</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:17am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>VMG</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:49pm<b>IamFrench</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:19pm<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:35pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:35am<b>mintcon</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:07am

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Jaredphamtom's favorite FMLs

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14352) - you deserved it (1071)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (48138)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (2884)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (3571)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (3462)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49211) - you deserved it (4704)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (2719)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (25474)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (5550)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (11775)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48836) - you deserved it (6199)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49825) - you deserved it (4167)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43291) - you deserved it (4109)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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