Januzane

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Offline (the 05/16/2016 at 5:37pm)

Januzane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3523
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.

Januzane's page activity

Visits<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:03pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:12am<b>lexie_is_awesome</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:46am<b>The_Paladin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JOESICK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:55am<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Timmerz84</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Marakie</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:11pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:52am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stephan18</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:54pm<b>rwfrog</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 10:30am<b>lopsop</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 12:31am

Januzane's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

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Januzane's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

by idonteven / 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

by mydaughterisdisturbed / 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

by please don't back that thing up / 08/09/2013 at 1:00am / United States / Transportation

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

by Tea_baggins / 08/06/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous