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Januzane

Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 3:57am) | Search for a member

Januzane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1782
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.

Januzane's page activity

Visits<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:03pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:12am<b>lexie_is_awesome</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:46am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>The_Paladin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JOESICK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:55am<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Timmerz84</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Marakie</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:11pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:52am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stephan18</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:55am<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:54pm

Januzane's FML badges

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Januzane's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
168 comments

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63262) - you deserved it (2837)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45686) - you deserved it (8380)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (11376)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55053) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39645) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45166) - you deserved it (5436)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (6701)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50840) - you deserved it (5916)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44543) - you deserved it (4911)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

#20878417
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (6570)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:40pm - work - by sysadmin:~# rm -rf / (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57315) - you deserved it (9331)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States



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