About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.
Januzane's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Januzane's favorite FMLs
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML
by NykP / 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals
by hairy / 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
by courtnayy / 09/30/2013 at 10:47am / United States / Love
by Overworked / 09/30/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Health
Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 12:12am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML
by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML
by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
by really? / 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…