Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Januzane

Search for a member

Januzane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.

Januzane's page activity

Visits<b>jaycee1209</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:03pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:08am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:12am<b>lexie_is_awesome</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 8:46am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:47pm<b>The_Paladin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:43pm<b>JOESICK</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:55am<b>jovialmaverick</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:20pm<b>Timmerz84</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48pm<b>Marakie</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:11pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:52am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 4:16pm<b>stephan18</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 2:58pm<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:55am<b>fml0505</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:49am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 12:54pm

Januzane's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Januzane's badges

Januzane's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42901) - you deserved it (4671)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (38708)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66925) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (4344)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41572) - you deserved it (9330)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46759) - you deserved it (6521)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (2910)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39900) - you deserved it (4506)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52359) - you deserved it (3292)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40741) - you deserved it (13094)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42192) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53537) - you deserved it (4222)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (7284)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: