About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.
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Januzane's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
by Alexman1985 / 05/01/2013 at 6:30am / Money
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
by gamerguru13 / 04/21/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by dentedmercedes / 04/20/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kingmetal42 / 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
by Daniel_rules / 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, I went on a planned vacation trip with a friend. We booked a nice cabin in the mountains but… Today, while I was enjoying a rare break my boyfriends mother had the audacity to call me lazy , I… Today, my grandfather called me after not contacting for almost ten years and told me that he wants…