Jameslicious

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Jameslicious

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  • Number of visits : 7886
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jameslicious's page activity

Visits<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:36am

Jameslicious's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Jameslicious's badges

Jameslicious's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML

by Sick As Hell / 04/27/2016 at 3:22am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, my mother showed me a picture of a dog in need of a home. Excitedly, I asked if we were getting it, having wanted one for a few months now. She said, 'No. I'm not even sure why I showed you." FML

by AnnaMuffin / 04/26/2016 at 6:08pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Animals

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I decided to pick up some breath mints. As I was checking out, the cashier informed me that if I was "planning on getting a girl to stay the night", I'd need the "stronger, more intense brand of mints". FML

by Kendall14159 / 04/17/2016 at 4:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 minutes before I had to leave for school, my friends convinced me it was "pajama day" at school. I showed up in slippers and Sponge Bob pajamas. My school wouldn't let me go home to change. FML

by rhiannakirwan / 04/17/2016 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML

by sigh / 03/29/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I tried to train my cat to scratch the scratching post by giving her a treat every time she used it, but she took that as getting a treat every time she scratched something. Now, not only does she scratch all my furniture, but she also meows for a treat while doing it. FML

by angrypetowner / 03/28/2016 at 11:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML

by goddamn chicken subs / 03/24/2016 at 12:51pm / United States / Health

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, and the trunk lid hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

by gnofin / 03/22/2016 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

by HolyRavioli / 03/21/2016 at 1:37pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML

by Qwe / 03/19/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

by fucktelstra / 03/17/2016 at 7:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Work