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Jambert001

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Jambert001

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  • Number of visits : 707
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jambert001's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (5137)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (2099)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (2513)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (8824)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7355) - you deserved it (30083)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (4277)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (14237)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (14237)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (5889)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)



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