About Jakesterk96 : Born in Miami, love basketball and miami heat and xbox 360- NBA 2k12, mw3, and Nazi zombies.
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Jakesterk96's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML
by caughtontape / 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML
by SmileEveryday / 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML
by 12incher / 03/15/2009 at 12:45am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…