Jake_2013

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Jake_2013

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1055
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jake_2013's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:02am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:43pm<b>NthDakotaBeaches</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:30pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 4:05pm<b>flawedgenius</b> - the 07/16/2011 at 3:32pm<b>deOrca</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 12:47am

Jake_2013's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jake_2013's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

by womanlover12345 / 07/18/2011 at 12:05pm / Spain / Love

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health

Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

by clumbsy_at_best / 07/16/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

by Username / 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

by hunter168647 / 07/02/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

by Eringobrag88 / 06/27/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Kids

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

by footfood / 06/27/2011 at 10:56am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

by Username / 06/27/2011 at 4:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

by gutav indogop / 06/24/2011 at 2:47am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Work

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

by notastoner / 06/19/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

by random / 06/15/2011 at 10:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

by failure461 / 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm / United States (California) / Animals