JakeQuake

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Offline (the 11/17/2014 at 5:32am)

JakeQuake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4019
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JakeQuake's page activity

Visits<b>Ravenz</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 2:40pm

JakeQuake's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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JakeQuake's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

by deathstar3548 / 09/22/2014 at 6:58am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

by thebrokentardis / 09/22/2014 at 2:45am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

by IdiotNursingStudent / 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

by sickened / 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Money

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

by royallymessedup / 09/21/2014 at 11:33am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

by badprofessor / 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2014 at 10:08am / United States / Transportation

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love