Jak0p

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Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 9:00am)

Jak0p

5Fucked!

Jak0pJak0p
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3746
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jak0p : I'm just a boy from a very small place in Germany, nothing special to say about me.

I have absolutely no clue why my second picture is upside down, but it's kind of funny anyway. I really like Family Guy, even if it's discriminating and political incorrect :D

Jak0p's page activity

Visits<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:48pm<b>Aviator9266</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:17am<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:53pm<b>Elizabeth2266</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:47am<b>marinkidink13</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:11am<b>hasooon</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:50am<b>juicy_extasy</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:55am<b>rlak111</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:01pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:36pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:35am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:48pm<b>cadillackid704</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:56pm<b>thehellisthis</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:17pm<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:08pm<b>GoldLeader</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:23am

Fucked!<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:49am<b>juicy_extasy</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:47am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:00am

Jak0p's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Jak0p's badges

Jak0p's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the only way to get my boyfriend to respond to me is through nudes. FML

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 10:08pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm / Intimacy

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

by tantanpanda / 06/24/2015 at 8:44am / United States / Health

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

by ilook12 / 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

by jaivolétonnez / 06/17/2015 at 1:54am / Transportation

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

by silverspud / 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

by shmoooopie / 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy