Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/26/2015 at 8:38am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2909
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jak0p : I'm just a boy from a very small place in Germany, nothing special to say about me.

I have absolutely no clue why my second picture is upside down, but it's kind of funny anyway. I really like Family Guy, even if it's discriminating and political incorrect :D

Jak0p's page activity

Visits<b>marinkidink13</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:11am<b>hasooon</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:50am<b>juicy_extasy</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:55am<b>rlak111</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:01pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:36pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:35am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:48pm<b>cadillackid704</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:56pm<b>thehellisthis</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:17pm<b>beanzz0501</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:08pm<b>GoldLeader</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Radieal</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:37pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:04am<b>immaballer123</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:26am

Fucked!<b>juicy_extasy</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:38pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:47am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:00am

Jak0p's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Jak0p's badges

Jak0p's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that the only way to get my boyfriend to respond to me is through nudes. FML

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (1515)

On 09/18/2015 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (10142)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32066) - you deserved it (2253)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (1817)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (4094)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (12156)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (6762)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (3548)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2348)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: