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JadeKnives

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JadeKnives

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1943
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JadeKnives : Just message if you want to know stuff about me.

JadeKnives's page activity

Visits<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - 15 hours ago<b>amoredeniro</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:04pm<b>elial</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:26pm<b>awesommessofpies</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:48pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:12am<b>carecow</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:14pm<b>jaminben</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 8:05pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 10:54am<b>Bouh</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:42pm<b>LaurenFox</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:28pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:19am<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:33pm<b>Ruben_alves</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:12pm

JadeKnives's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

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See all of JadeKnives's badges

JadeKnives's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57313) - you deserved it (10858)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (17019)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (5474)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (9356)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (3962)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (40895)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (14497)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (36397)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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