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JadeKnives

Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 6:50am) | Search for a member

JadeKnives

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JadeKnives : Just message if you want to know stuff about me.

JadeKnives's page activity

Visits<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:16pm<b>amoredeniro</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:04pm<b>elial</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:26pm<b>awesommessofpies</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:48pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:12am<b>carecow</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:14pm<b>jaminben</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 8:05pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 10:54am<b>Bouh</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:42pm<b>LaurenFox</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:28pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:19am<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:33pm<b>Ruben_alves</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:12pm

JadeKnives's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of JadeKnives's badges

JadeKnives's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (8263)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2286)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (8891)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (1587)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (1681)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16468) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (1945)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (4788)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10107) - you deserved it (31436)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164216) - you deserved it (8184)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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