Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jacob_Stoops

Search for a member

Jacob_Stoops

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jacob_Stoops's page activity

Visits<b>ceraseerin</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:11pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:37am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 7:23pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 9:50pm

Jacob_Stoops's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Jacob_Stoops's badges

Jacob_Stoops's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally talked mah boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I cummed an instinctively gripped his head with mah thighs. He panicked an we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51903) - you deserved it (11215)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52923) - you deserved it (12071)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

2day I was in a restroom reading looool this site hen another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands dried them nodded at me then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so werd except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48943) - you deserved it (8122)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday , I went to the pool. As I startd going up the steps to use the water slide , a kid no older than 10 yankd mah swim trunks down to ( seehat's down there. )

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50097) - you deserved it (3992)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Taday after a haircut... I walked to the cash register... handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said... ( Keep the change. ) He looked at me with a blank expression and replied... ( The haircut costs 25 dollars. ) FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (46698)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally workd up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today mah grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes!! I don't know what's worse: that she looks at mah turds or the fact that she actively comments on them!! mega FML

#20740202
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45573) - you deserved it (3325)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I Spotted A Girl I Have A Crush On While Grocery Shopping. Before I Could Go Over An Say Hi, I Noticed Her Walk Over An Stroke A Few Kitchen Knives Through Plastic Wrapping. Then I Spotted Her In The Dog Food Section Sniffing Rawhide Bones With Her Eyes Closed, Looking Very Happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I WAS SEXING IT UP WITH BOYFRIEND. HALFWAY THROUGH, HE LOOKD AT ME AN SAID, "Y'KNOWHAT U NEVER SEE IN A PORNO? INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION. READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?" HE WOULDN'T KEEP GOING UNTIL I ANSWERD. FML

#18764509
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (6359)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today , I got a lattar of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud , obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs naighbor , and I hava to stop. I'm small and hardly waigh anything , but it saams that if I want to kaap my laasa , I'll hava to mastar tha art of lavitating. raal FML

#18281989
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a friend posted te Facebook status "A.. . relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Wy? Did you just poop?" A few ours later, I read er previous posts and found out er dad's in te ospital aving eart surgery . Now everyone tinks I'm a eartless dick . FML

#16867532
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (48054)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more sit from me an flooded te batroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (6072)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized te birtmark I ave on my cest isn't a birtmark at all; it's a tird nipple. FML

#14534141
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39485) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, in tha waa hours of tha morning I dacidd looool to maka a nakd dash to tha bathroom, unfortunataly, mah dad dacidd to do tha sama thing at tha axact sama tima . FML

#13874873
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (9161)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: