I like penguins, birds of all forms, and biological science.
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8569) - you totally deserved it (795)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9092) - you totally deserved it (871)
On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you totally deserved it (2905)
On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14687) - you totally deserved it (2652)
On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said,"Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13862) - you totally deserved it (1399)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you totally deserved it (2973)
On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you totally deserved it (4103)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36686) - you totally deserved it (1865)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5453) - you totally deserved it (15139)
On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you totally deserved it (3532)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you totally deserved it (2305)
On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18057) - you totally deserved it (1972)
On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you totally deserved it (2510)
On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16421) - you totally deserved it (6438)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19464) - you totally deserved it (2139)
On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)
