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Offline (the 09/29/2016 at 9:27am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jackiesauur8's FML badges


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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Jackiesauur8's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

by skinnybitch / 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

by CollegeBound / 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

by Janie / 01/10/2012 at 12:52am / United States / Love

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

by upsetandannoyed / 01/01/2012 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

by piercingfreak / 08/28/2011 at 6:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

by MissCan'tKeepAJob / 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy