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Jace_____Rains's favorite FMLs
by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous neighbor / 01/30/2009 at 9:42am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML
by twat / 01/23/2009 at 1:41am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by william / 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML
by unifail / 01/22/2009 at 5:48am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Transportation
Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
by kallens / 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health
by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Perdedor / 01/07/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML
Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML
- Today, I wore shorts to work for the first time ever, since it was over 100 degrees. I immediately… Today, while talking to my dad, he threw a ball to me and it nailed me in the nuts. I stumbled back… Today, I was craving a bean & cheese burrito. After trying to forget about burritos for half of the…