Jace_____Rains

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Jace_____Rains

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11999
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jace_____Rains's page activity

Visits<b>shaddock</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 9:31am<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 5:12pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:50am<b>pacelily</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 12:20am<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:31pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:00pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Celeste_hope</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:24pm<b>IowaCowgirl</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:47pm<b>eledel</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:36pm<b>Maceypants</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:47am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 10:11pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:33am<b>isabel001</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:08pm<b>lachina805</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 7:37pm<b>WhiteManGotClass</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 7:37pm<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 5:40pm

Jace_____Rains's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Jace_____Rains's favorite FMLs

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

by tkghan / 08/02/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Health

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

by vmml97 / 08/01/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

by kiwichick4life / 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

by Bug8Frog / 07/30/2013 at 2:42am / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 4:19am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy