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Jaager's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Jaager's favorite FMLs
by yeah / 07/17/2015 at 10:59am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was standing on a step ladder to reach the batteries on top of my fridge so I could change the ones in my TV remote. My sister thought it would be funny to shake the ladder and see what would happen. I now have a broken leg and a TV remote with dead batteries in it. FML
by damnnn / 07/17/2015 at 8:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by battle1 / 07/17/2015 at 7:00am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Boneo and Juliet / 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 10:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML
by JustOutofCollegeAndBroke / 07/16/2015 at 2:56am / United States (California) / Money
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by lesousterre / 07/15/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
by gassy / 07/15/2015 at 7:15am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
by Teste / 07/15/2015 at 6:25am / Spain / Intimacy
Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML
by trappedinmyownhome / 07/14/2015 at 10:11pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML
by ineedaraise / 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…