Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jaager

Offline (yesterday at 9:32pm) | Search for a member

Jaager

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10884
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jaager's page activity

Visits<b>tormcn</b> - yesterday at 10:00am<b>ninjakitty254</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:07pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:15pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:03pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:11pm<b>skye147</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:08pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:40am<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:59am<b>flopstar</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>FunnnyGirrl</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:19am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Rented_eyebrows</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:40am

Fucked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:22am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:38pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:44am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:27pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:18pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Donuts202</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:22am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:29pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:00am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:04pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:35pm

Jaager's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Jaager's badges

Jaager's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (1515)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

#21433516
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14892) - you deserved it (22852)

On 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm - kids - by AddictiveAddicted - United States (Colorado)

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

#21433513
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (1305)

On 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by CaptainFluffyPaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (1339)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

#21433102
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (1894)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (1700)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (2106)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2109)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (1812)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (2062)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (2024)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2428)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: