Jaaared_

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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 5:24pm)

Jaaared_

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2824
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>sackofsad</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 4:44am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:56pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:04am<b>joshklander</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:04pm<b>naudia1590</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:35pm<b>Emziee4039</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:53pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:32am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:14pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:19am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:56am<b>calipilot227</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:11pm

Fucked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

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Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

by WTFruits / 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work