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Jaaared_

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Jaaared_

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 937
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>sammy1021</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:01pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:54pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:35pm<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:57am<b>umerin</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:49am<b>SoMei</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:01pm<b>calipilot227</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:31pm<b>snippit</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:11am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:20pm<b>burninsnow</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:09am<b>the_Jessicaaa</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:33am<b>lions_maine</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:07am<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:47pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:37am<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:20am

Liked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44164) - you deserved it (4211)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (13595)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49904) - you deserved it (3432)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75094) - you deserved it (9087)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79622) - you deserved it (4090)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49288) - you deserved it (6440)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37323) - you deserved it (5287)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (27406)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (2159)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (7223)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (9951)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (1669)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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