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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 5:24pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2255
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:19am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:56am<b>calipilot227</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:11pm<b>odod777</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:28am<b>pisseatdick</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:01pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:54pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:35pm<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:57am<b>SoMei</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:31pm

Fucked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

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Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53201) - you deserved it (6945)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (5022)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (3464)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (4541)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43910) - you deserved it (4007)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55689) - you deserved it (6924)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (5555)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44717) - you deserved it (3929)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML


Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44220) - you deserved it (9839)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44599) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46846) - you deserved it (4123)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

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