Jaaared_

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 5:24pm)

Jaaared_

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2689
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:56pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:04am<b>joshklander</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:04pm<b>naudia1590</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:35pm<b>Emziee4039</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:53pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:32am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:14pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:19am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:56am<b>calipilot227</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:11pm<b>odod777</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:50pm

Fucked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

Jaaared_'s FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Jaaared_'s badges

Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

by Sad Nerd / 04/02/2014 at 4:20am / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

by Drizztreri / 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

by MH / 01/24/2014 at 7:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Love