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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 5:24pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2357
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>isabelc</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:32am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:14pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:19am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:56am<b>calipilot227</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:11pm<b>odod777</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:28am<b>pisseatdick</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:01pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:31pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:54pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:35pm

Fucked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

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Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (2744)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (3722)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (4089)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML


I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (35808)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (6494)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML


I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42214) - you deserved it (18989)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (9403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (14402)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (3375)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52435) - you deserved it (7917)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (4689)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (4548)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (21497)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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