Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ja_Ja_Jess

Search for a member

Ja_Ja_Jess
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 12387
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Ja_Ja_Jess : lol wanna know something...ask me on msn
i.am.a.box@live.ca cyas

Ja_Ja_Jess's last visitors

Edogg215PAsurvivorlisaintgleaveLars93schm12mazdatuner09ShaowolfWeiXinLunGentelman999

Ja_Ja_Jess's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ja_Ja_Jess's favorite FMLs

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (39814)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91383) - you deserved it (28440)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (103178)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126004) - you deserved it (12185)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116401) - you deserved it (11403)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (81640)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116268) - you deserved it (34181)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15322) - you deserved it (65082)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240699) - you deserved it (36568)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48827) - you deserved it (300059)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (71666)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59847) - you deserved it (18350)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59847) - you deserved it (18350)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26305) - you deserved it (66929)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: