About Ja_Ja_Jess : lol wanna know something...ask me on msn
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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99510) - you deserved it (5188)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14106) - you deserved it (46562)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14632) - you deserved it (49331)
On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (110009)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42843) - you deserved it (16226)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (24162)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:14am - work - by kandykrazed17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (45329)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (45329)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142230) - you deserved it (32735)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (67763)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (85819)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (59387)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53947) - you deserved it (4301)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22470) - you deserved it (76690)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15079) - you deserved it (32502)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Monday 17 June 2013
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