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J_Kertz

Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 7:01pm) | Search for a member

J_Kertz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 345
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About J_Kertz : Musician. Mentored by Dave Mustaine of Megadeth... The Voice Season 5 ✌️ Hit me up if you'd like to check out my band =)

J_Kertz's page activity

Visits<b>sacrosanct2</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>fabrizio122</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:30pm<b>swaggalikethat</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:31pm<b>cherrybaby555</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:03am<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:30am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:25pm<b>someoneofowl</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:09am<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:59pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:03pm<b>ScarletRoses92</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:23pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:51am<b>demi94</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:39am<b>Tika876</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:52am<b>efettes</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:38pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:06pm<b>MegamiKaosu</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:41pm

J_Kertz's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of J_Kertz's badges

J_Kertz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (38642)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (5991)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (14021)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56433) - you deserved it (41718)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (37917)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (3511)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

#21062237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (17796)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40102) - you deserved it (7705)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42856) - you deserved it (3945)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (5502)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (5352)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (4033)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)



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