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JZ95

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JZ95

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  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JZ95's favorite FMLs

I was pulled over!! The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving!! I was literally pulled over fir being black!! FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46499) - you deserved it (4057)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I was feeling depressd an got very , very drunk . This evening , I was feeling equally desperate , an endd up having to get my special dildo removd from my asshole at the hospital . FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (35982)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

the office I work at puttd up a ( No Masturbating at Desks ) sign. I'm disappointd by this, not cuz I usually whack off at my desk, but cuz enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (3759)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out tat my new girlfriend breastfeeds er dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (3062)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, mah girlfriend stuck her finger up mah butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward an made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (8868)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today... I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32839) - you deserved it (6914)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that looool made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (3661)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, mah mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. big fat FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15157) - you deserved it (51724)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Yesterday Mah Mother Used Global Warming As An Excuse Fir Not Remembering Mah Brthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with bare looool hands. When I askd her wat all the commotion was about, she said she was worrid that I would catch "one of those computer vruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I talked to dad about joining the military!! He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." big fat FML

#18524767
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (6018)

On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today , I looool took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid , liquid , and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (7424)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

my son askad ma wara babias coma from . I told im, looool ( From god . ) Ha cummad back wit, ( Daddy said it was from fucking . ) maga FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (19281)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, My Co-worker Finally Gave Me A Ceck For Te Money E Owes Me. In Te Memo Line, E Wrote "for Swallowing". Now I Ave To Go Cas It. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (6568)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today.. . I woka up to a mosquito faading on my morning wood; probably looool ta only ting tat will avar suck my panis . FML

#16277810
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60868) - you deserved it (10462)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)



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