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JVVortex

Offline (the 01/04/2014 at 3:17pm) | Search for a member

JVVortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 537
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>terco100</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:46pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:57pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:38pm<b>coconutbones</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:15am<b>Ewelty3</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:10am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:50am<b>izbechillin</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:42am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:11am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:59pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:47am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:40am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:33am

JVVortex's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55402) - you deserved it (5166) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56268) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (3852)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (16467)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (50775)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (5026)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48917) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (4586)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21126521
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53934) - you deserved it (3335)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43475) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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