JVVortex

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Offline (the 04/26/2016 at 5:05pm)

JVVortex

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2840
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 12:23pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 8:59pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:49pm<b>lexred</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:09am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:17am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:01pm<b>dgv</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:28am<b>kobolobo</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Richard6036</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:50am<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 3:01am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19pm<b>360noscope</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:32am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:40am<b>thejonac</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35am<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:10am

Fucked!<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 8:01am<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:19am

JVVortex's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, the person I was driving behind put their car in reverse and backed straight into me. I was then yelled at and told, "I had my reversing lights on! Why didn't you move?!" FML

by Brayden / 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

by BahHumbug / 12/27/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

by badbitch23 / 12/07/2015 at 6:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML

by lauziej93 / 11/10/2015 at 4:24am / Spain (La Rioja) / Work

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

by ishred1111 / 11/06/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

by FreeTacos_ / 10/28/2015 at 1:23am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I went to the print shop to get some work printed. The guy serving me printed my entire order wrong because he pushed the wrong button, so it had to be done again. He tried to charge me a fine for the mistake he made because "it's not a viable business otherwise". FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2015 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Money