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JVVortex

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JVVortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 821
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>Ewelty3</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:59am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:36am<b>Xxxhitman46xxC</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:10pm<b>terco100</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:46pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:57pm<b>depressed_child</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:38pm<b>coconutbones</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 10:15am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:10am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:50am<b>izbechillin</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:42am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:11am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:59pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:37pm

JVVortex's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41006) - you deserved it (5063)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (7857)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42069) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56054) - you deserved it (5197) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56737) - you deserved it (6840)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (3884)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39401) - you deserved it (16690)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (52386)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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