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JVVortex

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JVVortex

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2114
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19pm<b>360noscope</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:32am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:40am<b>thejonac</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35am<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:10am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Keeper892</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:58am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>noik01</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:51pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:19am

JVVortex's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (1738)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (3555)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

#21447538
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (1753)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by suosi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (3825)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (7552)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (3925)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (17450)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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