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JVVortex

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JVVortex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1213
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:10pm<b>CattyMcEwwen</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:57pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 9:03am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:13am<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:25am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>KittyCatVargas</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 3:33am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Ewelty3</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:59am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:36am<b>Xxxhitman46xxC</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:10pm<b>terco100</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:32pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:46pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Saraj07</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:57pm

JVVortex's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36578) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (5810)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (42252)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16738) - you deserved it (47609)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (5311)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (5311)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (11763)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (7511)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (15441)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (4401)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (5413)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42653) - you deserved it (5141)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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