JMTS

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JMTS

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1064
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JMTS's page activity

Visits<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:26pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:34am<b>23lf</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:47pm<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:20pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:16pm<b>perdix</b> - the 06/23/2012 at 2:03pm<b>SlitMyThroat</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 11:46pm

JMTS's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

JMTS's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

by Richard / 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

by ouchouchouch / 03/28/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

by OhMyWhitney / 02/20/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

by kirstiexoxo / 02/07/2012 at 3:11am / United States / Money

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

by tooembarassed / 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

by elite / 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

by Shameful / 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 1:43am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm / United States / Love

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

by Damnit / 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous