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JMTS

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JMTS

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  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JMTS's page activity

Visits<b>Reva750</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:20pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:16pm<b>perdix</b> - the 06/23/2012 at 2:03pm<b>SlitMyThroat</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 11:46pm

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JMTS's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (4976)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (4356)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (7376)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (6072)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (27340)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

#19016229
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (3252)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:11am - money - by kirstiexoxo (woman) - United States

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (3588)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (3802) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (3121)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

#18617290
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (32246)

On 12/26/2011 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13417) - you deserved it (34718)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (5879)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)



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