Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

JJ_Rokk

Search for a member

JJ_Rokk
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JJ_Rokk : Musician. Mentored by Dave Mustaine of Megadeth. Hit me up if you want to check out my band!

JJ_Rokk's last visitors

CaptMurdockI_Am_A_RockAlexandraShDShay_okjazzyrose26DaftDudeAloyesejulielikescatsBlitheNightmare

JJ_Rokk's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of JJ_Rokk's badges

JJ_Rokk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42037) - you deserved it (6976)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (15526)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (5476)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (1888)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3181)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (5149)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML

#20519336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (6347)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (1845)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: