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JJBADGE10's favorite FMLs
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm / Argentina (Buenos Aires) / Kids
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
by EnglishLearner / 11/09/2012 at 11:23am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Work
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
by loser / 11/09/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
by slypher25aussie / 11/09/2012 at 2:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by David / 11/08/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
by ohcrap / 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Owen / 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by stuck / 11/07/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by jailofc / 11/07/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by rastamerican / 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML
by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work
by liquorless / 11/05/2012 at 9:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous