About JFloUnknown : I'm not very interesting. try me. meow.
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JFloUnknown's favorite FMLs
by confused / 04/09/2011 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Love
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by blehhx / 04/09/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Animals
by WhatTheBleep / 04/09/2011 at 12:02am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
by FistFighter / 04/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Health
by notfunny / 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 9:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML
by meh. / 04/07/2011 at 6:19am / Switzerland (Bern) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
by 1337fade / 04/07/2011 at 1:19am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML
by ouchiee / 04/07/2011 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…