About JFloUnknown : I'm not very interesting. try me. meow.
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JFloUnknown's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Miscellaneous
by random / 05/13/2013 at 11:06am / United States / Animals
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
by walmart: first time, last time / 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by GaveAnInchTakeAMile / 05/11/2013 at 5:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by annoyedgirl / 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML
by SSeizeTheDay / 05/03/2013 at 4:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by fiercehawk / 04/24/2013 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife… Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge… Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in…