JESUSlives4MUSIC

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JESUSlives4MUSIC

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4418
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JESUSlives4MUSIC's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:25am<b>24788</b> - the 01/26/2010 at 1:43am

JESUSlives4MUSIC's FML badges

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JESUSlives4MUSIC's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

by SnowyConcussion / 12/23/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

by SnowyConcussion / 12/23/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

by BeautifulDisastre / 12/23/2009 at 5:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

by jordigs / 12/23/2009 at 3:46am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

by ApolloandDixie / 12/23/2009 at 1:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

by Chris / 12/23/2009 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

by iHateWorms / 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

by Brian / 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

by shallowvomit1013 / 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

by themonkeyman / 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

by DumbLackofLuck / 12/22/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

by Secretisout / 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

by chao / 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love