Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JESUSlives4MUSIC

Search for a member

JESUSlives4MUSIC

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3419
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

JESUSlives4MUSIC's page activity

Visits<b>24788</b> - the 01/26/2010 at 1:43am

JESUSlives4MUSIC's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

JESUSlives4MUSIC's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (6385)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14331) - you deserved it (42871)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (46503)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML

#4677149
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19684) - you deserved it (40836)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (52407)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48088) - you deserved it (27206)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67849) - you deserved it (3858)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44588) - you deserved it (15400)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

#2299417
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (2935)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42313) - you deserved it (145616)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60569) - you deserved it (17441)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

#1387702
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48585) - you deserved it (17515)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

#1353453
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60474) - you deserved it (12925)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85986) - you deserved it (5869)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

#621353
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63294) - you deserved it (32756)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: