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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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JD_88

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JD_88
  • Town/Country : Salisbury, England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About JD_88 : Jessicaa
15 yearss

Weheey

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JD_88's favorite FMLs

Today, some police officers walked up and down my street locking unlocked car doors to prevent theft. I keep my doors unlocked because my key only works for the ignition. Unaware of this, they locked mine. Sure, criminals are now locked out forever, but so am I. FML

#8638829 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (14530) - you deserved it (3819)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by skinbasher (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (41132)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (10964) - you deserved it (4910)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (109491) - you deserved it (8692)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

#4589153 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (30021)

On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (64634) - you deserved it (3092)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (54927)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249102) - you deserved it (34306)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

#10022 (29)

I agree, your life sucks (5820) - you deserved it (30063)

On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)